She is waiting for it to come back before she does anything and she does not know that she has made that a rule.
She would describe it as honesty. She would say she is not going to fake it, and she is right about that, and I am not going to argue her out of a good instinct.
But listen to the actual mechanism, because it is a loop and she has been inside it for six years.
She does not feel it. So she does not do it. And because she does not do it, there is nothing in her week that has anything to do with it. And because there is nothing in her week, the feeling has nothing to arrive into.
So she waits. And it does not come back. And she takes the not coming back as further confirmation that there is nothing to come back to.
Six years of that.
She is twenty-eight, and at twenty-two she meant it more than she has ever meant anything, and she cannot get anywhere near that girl, and she has decided the distance is a verdict about what was real.
So let me ask you.
What did you actually do, back when you meant it?
The instruction is a list of actions
There is a letter in Revelation to a group of people who had lost something, and the diagnosis is emotional and the prescription is not, and that gap is the whole thing.
They are told they have forsaken the love they had at first. That is the diagnosis, and it is about the heart.
And here is what they are told to do about it.
Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.Revelation 2:5
Do the things you did at first.
Not feel the way you felt at first. Not recover the emotion and then act on it. Do the things. Actions, plural, recoverable, listable.
Revelation 2 answers a diagnosis about the heart with an instruction about behavior, and the Spirit who gave that letter put a verb about doing where a verb about feeling would have fit, so the feeling you are waiting on has never once been the entry requirement.
Okay, honest bit, and I am on your side for this.
Your refusal to fake it is genuinely good. Do not lose it. There are people who perform a feeling they do not have and it hollows them out and you were right to refuse.
But doing something is not faking a feeling. Those are different. Kneeling for one minute while feeling absolutely nothing is not a performance, because you are not claiming anything, and there is nobody in the room to perform for.
Revelation 2 gives a set of actions to people who had already lost the feeling, and the Spirit was in that instruction being given to them in that exact condition, which means six years of waiting for the emotion has been six years of waiting for the thing that was supposed to come second.
And notice the tense of did. Past. Specific. Recoverable.
They knew what they used to do. It was a list of ordinary behaviors, and they still had access to every one of them, and the instruction assumes they do.
Revelation 2 treats the old practices as still available to people who no longer feel like doing them, and the Spirit put that assumption in the sentence, so being unable to reach the girl you were at twenty-two has never once put her habits out of reach.
Now the move, and it goes in the opposite order to the one you have been using.
Act first. Let the feeling do what it does.
You are not required to generate anything. You are not claiming to feel it and nobody is asking you to say a word you do not mean.
Do the small old thing, empty, and let it be empty.
Revelation 2 tells people who had lost the feeling to do the things they did at first, and the Spirit put the action ahead of the emotion in that sentence, so acting with nothing behind it has never once been faking it.
Six years inside a loop. One minute on a floor.
Declare this over yourself
Say these where you can hear yourself. Know what holds them up. This authority is not yours by nature, it is Christ's, and in Christ it has been given to you, so you speak as one representing the King. And you speak under His will, never over it. However He answers, and in whatever way He comes, the outcome is His.
- Feeling, you are what I have been waiting for and the instruction given was a list of things to do. Revelation 2 says do the things you did at first, and it says it to people who had already lost the love they had.
- Loop that says I do not feel it so I do not do it, and there is nothing in my week for the feeling to arrive into, you have run for six years, and in the name of Jesus you are broken open. The Spirit put a verb about doing exactly where a verb about feeling would have fit.
- Lord, Revelation 2 treats the old practices as still available to people who no longer feel like doing them. I am sitting for one minute today and saying nothing at all, and doing something empty is not the same as faking anything.
Revelation 2:5
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